A Bridge on the River Kwai

Starring William Holden and Alec Guiness

Directed by David Lean

Release Date: October 2, 1957

A fantastic picture about men who live by a code of honor, risking their lives and the lives of their men to preserve their dignity. Alec Guiness and William Holden are fantastic in this movie, playing to their strength with Guiness perfectly capturing the English Colonel who strives to uphold rule and order even under captivity while William Holden's Major Sheers cannot understand the Colonel and merely wants to survive his captivity. A great picture that fans of great dramas and WWII pictures will enjoy.

Rating: * * * * 1/2 of 5

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Zack And Miri Make A Porno

Starring Seth Rogen and Jason Mewes

Directed by Kevin Smith

Release Date: October 31, 2008

I want to start this off with a positive comment: I respect Kevin Smith. For me, he helped define movies for the 90's. I love nearly all of his films, I even have a soft spot for Jersey Girl for the heartwarming moments and the superb comedy of the late George Carlin. Then, all my respect for Mr. Smith was thrown out the window with this predictable, Judd Appatow-clone where the biggest chuckle came out of the title (which is censored at Target and Wal-Mart, so if you bought this movie at those locations you'll get the alternate title of "Zack and Miri"). In a Judd Apatow movie, there are a ton of raunchy and disgusting jokes, but they're balanced out with tender moments and a great story: Here, it's two losers, one willing to sleep with anything Zack (Seth Rogen, seriously, his character is so one dimensional I kept looking for ink lines drawn by an animator) and his platonic life long friend Miri (for the lack luster dialogue given, Elizabeth Banks is a good trooper). Oh sure, there are a few chuckles here and there, but there are so many terrible jokes and obnoxious sex based dialogue and humor (i know the premise involves pornography, but seriously, there is a limit to how many jokes involving ones groin I can take). As of this review, March 16th 2010, I have not seen Smith's latest film, Cop Out, which has been largely critiqued as the worst of Kevin Smith's filmography. Until I see that film, this is my choice for the worst in Smith's career: the jokes are bad, there is little to no character development, there's barely any conflict, and finally, Smith's life-long obsession to Star Wars is getting tiresome. I expected better from you, Kevin Smith. Until then, I'll just be hoping you can do better than make a movie imitating the style of another film maker just to do well at the box office.

Rating: * * of 5

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Kiki's Delivery Service

"Majo no takkyûbin" - Japan (original title)

Starring the voices of Kirsten Dunst, Matthew Lawrence, Jeneane Garaffalo, and Phil Hartman.

Directed by Hayao Miyazaki

Release Date: July 29, 1989 (Japan)



A young witch leaves home for a year of training, honing a craft in which to build a life. Our protagonist, Kiki (Kirsten Dunst), decides to be a broom-flying delivery girl for a local bakery. Along the way, she hits a road block and cannot fly her broom. Will Kiki rise in to the air again? Hayao Miyazaki thrills and amazes with glowing visuals and energetic characters, especially in our young, female protagonist. One of Miyazaki directiorial traits is his background in aviation, so the scenes of Kiki flying high in to the air are stunning to behold. A great animated film, a great movie period.

Rating: * * * * * of 5

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The Pink Panther

Directed by Blake Edwards

Starring Peter Sellers

Release Date: March 20, 1963

The Phantom is after Princess Dala's most prized possession, The Pink Panther diamond. Who wll stop the legendary thief? None other than Inspector Jacques Clouseau, who went on vacation with his wife, who has a few surprises of her own, to track down the thief. With a great jazz sound track, misunderstandings and clever dialogue, The Pink Panther had much going on even before Peter Sellers' most famous character was making hilarious pratfalls.

Rating: * * * * of 5

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Zombie Strippers

Directed by Jay Lee
Starring: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund
Release Date: April 18, 2008

If you ignore all the commentary (and I say commentary lightly; they blatantly use George W. Bush several times as reasons why the world has 'gone to pot'), it's a fun, sillly zombie movie. There are some good one-liners, gore-effects, but crappy CGI effects. Still, if you're in the mood for some gory, goofy zombie action, I'd give this movie a shot.

Rating: * * * of 5

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Cannibal Holocaust

Starring Robert Kerman

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato

Release Date: January 1, 1979

An infamous film that was thought to be a snuff film turns out to be a quite the thrilling epic commentary on society. Also, for a movie made over 30 years ago, the gore effects are both chilling and quite extrodinary to look at. While there could have been more developmment on the film crew, it does explore the actions they made toward their downfall in an effective and grusome manner. The only real problem is with the finale; just listen to the last line of dialogue and see how out of place it is with the previous scene. A good horror film, but very gruesome for those with a weak stomach.

Rating: * * * * of 5

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BrainDead (Dead Alive)

Directed by Peter Jackson

Starring Timothy Balme

Release Date:Feb 12, 1993

A grusome, silly horror movie. The plot is nothing spectacular, but the GORE EFFECTS! For a small budget Austrailian horror movie, the gore effects and the kills in this movie are spectacular to behold and quite innovatewith great detail toward making the audience shriek, gag, and laugh all in the same breath. A must see for fans of Zombie films.

Rating * * * * 1/2 of 5

Click here to buy Dead Alive